It's almost like I didn't forget.

Almost. Well, nearly. Well, not at all. Well fuck you.

Now, I'm going to begin as I mean to forever be unapologetic for: Linking amazing youtube videos that others find constitute a violation of the Geneva Convention. Which is fair, since I see MLP as a method of torture that needs to be banned. If you know me, then you know what this video is about.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87p53rAD7Sk
#One Hundred loving waaaaaays....

That leads me to something else that might [read: will] cause ridicule to be flung in this direction. I'm a WRASSLIN fan.

No, not this prick. The other stuff

Maybe it was nostalgia, maybe it's the hilarity of watching it as a TV soap opera with fisticuffs over a sport, but mostly it was hearing that the Great One returned, back in March this year. The Most Electrifying Man in ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of Sports Entertainment! As a kid I loved The Rock, and as a manchild I still do. As I said before though, the idea of watching it more as a TV show than a sports show makes it more entertaining than it was as a child going "Oh god that guy really ran over Stone Cold what the shit." Also admittedly I only caught on about '98-99, so I missed the earlier years.

If the idea of all that caused you to hate on me, then watch this and this and this and remember that life is stupid. Embrace it. And then hit it with the STEEL CHAIR OH MY GOD.

At a time like this, there is only one thing to say.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPEOPLEARETRYINGTOKILLMEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[To put that into context, I am part of the Sheffield Assassins Guild, and this is my paranoia being let loose. Just so you know. I try to keep a nonchalant attitude going, but the paranoia is there. And *SO* mainstream.]

I apologise in advance

So, the introductory bit. The reason for the below posh rubbish is because of the story, I wish to write it in a certain way. As the Baron Viscount, if you will. Please accept that one self-centred bit of me, and we can begin on this trail of woe and guilty boners. SIDE NOTE: Fuck spoiler tags. Highlight the large blank spot if you wish to read it. Simple.

      Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you all are well. This is a sordid tale of the highest order and I must humbly request that you put the kids to bed and make sure no-one untoward is in the vicinity before you begin this story. For this story includes such perverse kinks, such vile acts of depravity that although this is technically an erotic story, for anyone plain and naive this will completely and truly break them. If you are one of these people, might I suggest some simple lesbian erotica? If however you mean to carry on, then I highly suggest you pull out a drink. You may need something stiff to loosen and dilute the barriers of the mind and truly accept what is about to happen. My identity will become important soon enough, it does not matter at this point in time. If you do indeed become aroused and excited then by all means drop this tale and pursue your carnal fantasies. There is something for everyone, and that is especially true of the sexual world. Though this tale was not written for sexual purposes, that is undoubtedly the result of a clash of three worlds that should never have met. All I ask is that you keep things safe. This tale would feel most upset if it caused any unforseen deaths. So, let us begin, ladies and gentlemen, with a rabbit...

=================================
With the gentle gusts of wind flittering through the forest and gently tickling the trees and their little leaves, Bugs Bunny hopped along happily. In his mind, he deserved it. He *really* deserved it. Elmer had once again been soundly defeated in his perverse quest to have Bugs' hide turned into a fetching hat and his innards to make a stew. Especially as Bugs felt he was essentially human, what with the walking on two legs, the talking, the advanced thought, the education he received. That makes Elmer a dirty vorephile. And Daffy, that self serving bitch had tried to screw over Bugs once more, to avoid being a victim himself. "All's fair in love and war", he muttered, "but trying to crucify me is a step too far!" Luckily for Bugs, Daffy was lacking enough to not realise the bear pheromones Bugs sprayed on him. By now, Daffy would be being sodomised by Big Bertha, Queen of the forest. The mage at first gave him a cause to giggle. Then Daffy's pained cries forced Bugs to stop and properly laugh at the ingenuity of his revenge. Soon Bugs stopped and leaned on a tree to guffaw wildly and uncontrollably for a full five minutes.


Eventually the laughter died and the image of sodimised-Daffy was replaced suddenly by a more confusing one. Bugs, strung up and skewered on a pole, being roasted while Mr and Mrs Fudd made sweet love in front of the fire cooking him alive. At first the idea made him shudder, convulse. Then, however, a small stirring in his crotch began. As the daydream progressed on, Bugs became more aroused by the idea of his own demise. What if he could plan this out? Everyone had to go eventually, right? It gives his long-time rival and enemy victory and closure, it gives Bugs control of his destiny and he could even throw in one last prank and have the three of them eat Daffy first. Soon, this daydream evolved into a fully-fledged fantasy and Bugs snuck into a secluded spot. After checking for voyeurs (An absurdly common problem), he leaned onto the tree and reached down..."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

THAT'S ALL YOU GET. Partly because it's not done and partly because the properly horrible bits will be later.

That feeling when...

A new computer! Well, I say new, but it's just the titchy Italian one that can and should turn into my travelling laptop. It even runs Dwarf Fortress! Albeit slowly. But anyway, the point of this. I was soundly and utterly beaten today. All my trolling efforts, all my attempts at avoiding the ultimate revenge on my twat-ness, all beaten.

Starting up this tiny ferrari, I saw nothing wrong. It was only after I got settled in to load up chrome that these weird things started appearing.

These...weird...animals...

What is thi-

*tick* *tock* *tick* *tock* *tick* *tock* *tick* *tock* *ding!*

Ponies. Everywhere. 15 programs of them. And...not angry at all. It was well setup, and my rage was easily subsided. Almost sated. Obviously they are gone, but it was a nice attack. Having 98% CPU usage wasn't sustainable though.