"Is thing on?" The voice squirmed through the speakers, a deep, crackly voice. "Hello?"
Opposite the speakers, a well-dressed man lay stuck onto the wall. His suit, hand-tailored and glistening in response to the covered candlelight in the room, offered a stark contrast to his surroundings. The room was more of a hole in the cave, carved and roughly carved into the shape of a small chamber. Indistinct carvings lined the chamber, some kind of text that, in the dim light, is hard to make out. Dust and grime looked as if it was painted to make the room even worse than it was before the man was taped and nailed to the wall. The man, hearing this voice, tried to scream out obscenities through the duct tape sealing his mouth.
"Hello? Are you there?" The voice repeated, "Wait...oh I'm so terribly sorry for forgetting. You're gagged! Whoopsie!" The cracking voice shifted tone suddenly and started to laugh. A hearty, maniacal laugh that echoed through the room and chilling the bones of the man strapped to the stone wall.
"Oh it's been a long, LONG search for you, Felix. You really hid yourself well these past two years. And what luck, what amazing luck that I found your pretty little face on today of all days. It's the anniversary of your victory! The defeat of the ß?åµ?ø® Army at Orivall Peak. The rise of your council of Admins. Except it didn't quite work that way, did it? DIT IT?!" The voice boomed at the end, the maniacal glee being overwhelmed by unadulterated rage.
The anger left as soon as it arrived, "You admins, oh you had it all. The answers to the failed regime, the fortitude to keep this country running, the strength to control the people. Except in your collective big-headed idiocy, you forgot the little people. You sacrificed Game Operators left and right for your own glory. Your army was malnourished, underpowered and angry. First mistake. The second is wearing that awful suit. Black is not your colour, Felix. And third? You ignored your army once the rebels were defeated. Men you promised to promote, executed. Payment, denied. And fourth, you let me run silently through the council and the army. Oh I was a nobody. Some pithy general of a small squadron on the outskirts, based in Andile." By this point the man known as Felix stopped attempting to escape, and listened to this monologue performed by a madman.
"That, that was your biggest mistake. You failed to notice my eloquence, my captivating voice, and most of all my manipulative genius. Do you know why Andile NEVER had a rebellion? It is because I knew how to rule. Much more than you fools did. So after the first rebellious squadron were massacred, I began my plan. Running in the shadows, making my through the council and gaining the support of the army, rise through the ranks. It took a year of hard graft, but, well, I love the long game. It makes victory all the sweeter. Then came the genius bit. Oh you'll like this. Remember the coup, led by Valent? And how you other admins to flee into obscurity? IDIOTS. Valent was a puppet led my me! You were all playing the tune I set out! And I won! I rule this land now, as you should have." The voice on the speaker grew more maniacal, more excited.
Oh but there was my one flaw. I desired the spotlight. I needed the world to know I was the new commander-in-chief as soon as possible, and that lost me your locations. In my brashness, I forgot to keep track of you. Oh but I punished myself, don't you worry your scruffy little face. I had to move fast, to consolidate power and make sure you stayed well away. Keep you all away from each other, hidden in the foothills, plotting your futile plots at revenge, until you were a footnote in history. Picking you off one by one. And you, you're the last one, Felix the Cat. The last of the old council. The last to die. In a few moments that candle will flare up and light the room you're currently in. And then you will know death. Au revoir, my poor kitty cat. May you burn in peace."
At that, the candle exploded into a ball of light, destroying the container which housed it and illuminating the room. Felix, looking around, could now see the carvings on the wall, gory deaths and praise for the country of South Boania, and learnt that the room was not covered in dust, or grime. The biggest carving, settled square in front of him, opposite the wall, revealed the true nature of the room, all the while sparks flew out everywhere, landing everywhere, forming small glowing dots. Tears fell down Felix's face.
"LONG LIVE THE1337G33K.
THE ROOM IS COVERED IN THERMITE
AND EXPLOSIVE PASTE.
BURN IN HELL, FELIX.
LOVE,
G33K"
The next day, the local news reported an explosion in the old mines of Quiros.
No comments:
Post a Comment