Challenge accepted!

Trees 
Hot dogs 
Jelly 
Books 
Lube
The M6 
Dominionism 
Transubstantiation 
Red 
The Powerpuff Girls 


You might be wondering why I have that list up there. Well. A friend of mine, Sean, linked me to this degree, which to me sounds like a Bachelors Degree in Bullshit. Maybe it's good, maybe not. If you've actually done it then tell me otherwise. 


Through that, I will be making a short essay where I will make a point related to this degree by using that above list as my topic points. Possibly link the first with the second, third with fourth, etc. Let the retardation begin!

Negima!? Spoilers inside! Also Hurfgurble

So, ill. Sucks.

And, I've realised something after Akamatsu's cockteasing finale to Eva and Negi/Asuna fighting through the usual Negi sneezes and everyone gets naked. And Eva ends up on Negi's face.

Now, it might be my broken and perverted nature accepting that this is Akamatsu's style, as well as a part of Japanese culture (nudity doesn't seem as big a deal, especially with the whole public baths thing), but, consider this.

[NEGIMA SPOILERS IF YOU'RE THE SPOILER HATING KIND OF PERSON THEN KINDLY BE WARNED THAT I AM A DOUCHE]
Now, we already know Eva is some vampire-esque non-aging being of shadow based off of the power of Magia Erebea. And Negi has this too, but less vampire and more ultra healing and the "good" side of Magia Erebea. Now, they both can change how they appear at will, and Eva easily has the mind of a lecherous adult. Negi's already quite adult, and will continue to do so, despite looking 10-16. Does this make fanfic of the two that much easier? Oh man. Rule 34 will love this. As will I, since I can throw in Eva as the mindfuckery. Also ice dildos. Because fuck morality.

It's almost like I didn't forget.

Almost. Well, nearly. Well, not at all. Well fuck you.

Now, I'm going to begin as I mean to forever be unapologetic for: Linking amazing youtube videos that others find constitute a violation of the Geneva Convention. Which is fair, since I see MLP as a method of torture that needs to be banned. If you know me, then you know what this video is about.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87p53rAD7Sk
#One Hundred loving waaaaaays....

That leads me to something else that might [read: will] cause ridicule to be flung in this direction. I'm a WRASSLIN fan.

No, not this prick. The other stuff

Maybe it was nostalgia, maybe it's the hilarity of watching it as a TV soap opera with fisticuffs over a sport, but mostly it was hearing that the Great One returned, back in March this year. The Most Electrifying Man in ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of Sports Entertainment! As a kid I loved The Rock, and as a manchild I still do. As I said before though, the idea of watching it more as a TV show than a sports show makes it more entertaining than it was as a child going "Oh god that guy really ran over Stone Cold what the shit." Also admittedly I only caught on about '98-99, so I missed the earlier years.

If the idea of all that caused you to hate on me, then watch this and this and this and remember that life is stupid. Embrace it. And then hit it with the STEEL CHAIR OH MY GOD.

Some blog testing. Hope these Spoiler tags work.

If they don't then you get to revel in my utter humiliation and failure. YAY. And shut up Patrick if you read this. I suck with any form of coding, I know. It's why I do History. Jerk.
Click me to read spoilers: PART 1

Once upon a time, Bar One was the kind of place you went to when you wanted to get crunked. The dank, dingy yet somehow colourful purple walls spread across your eyes and tempted you in. The only purpose of the inside was to get a drink from the bar, and as a functional walkway to the outside social area or the pool room. A pool room that reminded you of the days in a basement room at high school, suffering while some know-it-all prick took your pride and potential and destroyed it with a stick. [Or maybe that was just the abuse...]. Now? The sheer fact I'm writing this inside Bar One is a testament to how much it has changed. It is now somewhere where real work can be done, where groups can meet up, enjoy decent food and get drunk not only on alcohol but the vibrant atmosphere. Everything is new, and shiny, and smooth, and befitting of that kind of bar. I'd drink now in honour of it but there's a lecture soon.

Click me to read spoilers: PART 2

Sometimes, UPS, I don't want logistics. I DON'T want a jaunty tune to tell me I can deliver things amazingly with you. I just want to watch a fucking video ONCE IN MY THOR-FORSAKEN LIFE without the need to be brainfucked with a happy jingle. Maybe I don't like jingles. Maybe I prefer songs. Maybe I'm a douche and prefer spoken word hidden as a tune. Maybe I even like rap. THIS IS AURAL RAPE. Hey, that could be a band.
OK, wat. WAT.

Click me to read spoilers: PART THREE

Now that my ears are sufficiently dead, I can inform you of my lovely new purple hoodie. Why is it lovely? A good question. Because I "stoled" it from my brother. He wouldn't wear it, mum offered it, I took it. A good deal. I like purple.

If this didn't work, I apologise. I suck.

The Right Dishonourable Viscount has evolved!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-15391388

He has learnt Historical Argument! He feels smug.

At a time like this, there is only one thing to say.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPEOPLEARETRYINGTOKILLMEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[To put that into context, I am part of the Sheffield Assassins Guild, and this is my paranoia being let loose. Just so you know. I try to keep a nonchalant attitude going, but the paranoia is there. And *SO* mainstream.]

I apologise in advance

So, the introductory bit. The reason for the below posh rubbish is because of the story, I wish to write it in a certain way. As the Baron Viscount, if you will. Please accept that one self-centred bit of me, and we can begin on this trail of woe and guilty boners. SIDE NOTE: Fuck spoiler tags. Highlight the large blank spot if you wish to read it. Simple.

      Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you all are well. This is a sordid tale of the highest order and I must humbly request that you put the kids to bed and make sure no-one untoward is in the vicinity before you begin this story. For this story includes such perverse kinks, such vile acts of depravity that although this is technically an erotic story, for anyone plain and naive this will completely and truly break them. If you are one of these people, might I suggest some simple lesbian erotica? If however you mean to carry on, then I highly suggest you pull out a drink. You may need something stiff to loosen and dilute the barriers of the mind and truly accept what is about to happen. My identity will become important soon enough, it does not matter at this point in time. If you do indeed become aroused and excited then by all means drop this tale and pursue your carnal fantasies. There is something for everyone, and that is especially true of the sexual world. Though this tale was not written for sexual purposes, that is undoubtedly the result of a clash of three worlds that should never have met. All I ask is that you keep things safe. This tale would feel most upset if it caused any unforseen deaths. So, let us begin, ladies and gentlemen, with a rabbit...

=================================
With the gentle gusts of wind flittering through the forest and gently tickling the trees and their little leaves, Bugs Bunny hopped along happily. In his mind, he deserved it. He *really* deserved it. Elmer had once again been soundly defeated in his perverse quest to have Bugs' hide turned into a fetching hat and his innards to make a stew. Especially as Bugs felt he was essentially human, what with the walking on two legs, the talking, the advanced thought, the education he received. That makes Elmer a dirty vorephile. And Daffy, that self serving bitch had tried to screw over Bugs once more, to avoid being a victim himself. "All's fair in love and war", he muttered, "but trying to crucify me is a step too far!" Luckily for Bugs, Daffy was lacking enough to not realise the bear pheromones Bugs sprayed on him. By now, Daffy would be being sodomised by Big Bertha, Queen of the forest. The mage at first gave him a cause to giggle. Then Daffy's pained cries forced Bugs to stop and properly laugh at the ingenuity of his revenge. Soon Bugs stopped and leaned on a tree to guffaw wildly and uncontrollably for a full five minutes.


Eventually the laughter died and the image of sodimised-Daffy was replaced suddenly by a more confusing one. Bugs, strung up and skewered on a pole, being roasted while Mr and Mrs Fudd made sweet love in front of the fire cooking him alive. At first the idea made him shudder, convulse. Then, however, a small stirring in his crotch began. As the daydream progressed on, Bugs became more aroused by the idea of his own demise. What if he could plan this out? Everyone had to go eventually, right? It gives his long-time rival and enemy victory and closure, it gives Bugs control of his destiny and he could even throw in one last prank and have the three of them eat Daffy first. Soon, this daydream evolved into a fully-fledged fantasy and Bugs snuck into a secluded spot. After checking for voyeurs (An absurdly common problem), he leaned onto the tree and reached down..."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

THAT'S ALL YOU GET. Partly because it's not done and partly because the properly horrible bits will be later.

Clearly I am as competent in scheduling as a parrot trying to win Olympic Gold at weightlifting

Long titles aside, I am what I hate.
I am the twat in a coffeeshop.
 I am that macfa-Wait. This isn't a mac.
That makes things all OK then. Phew. FALSE ALARM GUYS.

So yes, apologies for the lack of anything ever. Please accept my poor writing style and horrible content as an apology. First off, since no-one really reads this it'll be easier to admit. I no longer hate Lady Gaga. It's been a long time coming, but the signs have been there for a year or so now. Continued listens to the [amazing] LittleKuriboh and his various Lady Gaga parody songs [Leather Pants among others]. Watching a mashup video based off the [insane and incredible - insanedible] purpleyeswtf, where Helmeppo styles all over Zoro's balls for a full ten minutes. Telling myself that I only like it because of the way Helmeppo is clearly stylin' beyond belief dawg. Lying to myself.

 This doesn't mean I'll buy or willingly find out Gaga songs, hell the fuck no! But less hate is a start. A start down a path that only leads to ruin, pain and Raccoon City [is that right? I don't know my Resident Evil]. Next, blogger. Having found out about Wordpress in all it's sexy sexy glory and how to use it, Blogger seems to be lagging behind a little. At least to me. But then, it does have the connections to that behemoth google and the ease of starting up a blog in *literally* five minutes. It is incredibly sexy stuff. And yet Wordpress is calling to me. Like a hooker in the window, with those long sexy legs of HTML capability and the soft, supple boobs of changing themes, along with that glorious ass of...er...installing. But no. I shall stay faithful to blogger. My sensual, homely wife. That I sometimes smother with a pillow because START WORKING YOU STUPID WIRELESS INTERNET. Also said wife has just had a boob job and now her interface is...aaaahhhh

Finally, fanfic progress is slow but steady. A vague plot is there, as is a skeleton for the intro. Here it is. It is under a spoiler tag for a reason. BEWARE, THIS WILL NEVER BE SAFE FOR WORK. EVER.
Click me to read spoilers

-Bugs hopping through the woods
-Just evaded Elmer
-Large explosion
-Blinding flash
-Speared into a tree by something
-wtf?
-It's a Japanese girl
-Her english is broken
-Vague backstory bullshit
-Vague softporn introduction of her body
-She's not under 16 you giant pedo
-Apparently has a fetish for humanoid rabbits
-Starts off with some downunder funtimes
-Bugs leads Japanese woman/furry to his holehome
-Rampant sex, throw in some femdom kinks because why not.
-Orgasm
-At point of orgasm, DOCTOR WHO MUSIC
-SmithDoctor comes out, starts rambling on
-"...and so that rift I used to launch the TARDIS might have accidentally broken a few realities and merged them into one oh well that kinda stuff happens like why I've just walked into a rabbit and a woman seemingly from japan are engaged in rampant anal sex wait BUGS?!"
-"DOCTOR!"
-That's the lead to part 2
-Eyes sufficiently melted

Picture of the day:

Source: Ai Yori Aoshi. Great anime. In weeaboo terms, SO KAWAII DESU NE. 

EDIT: http://www.gaslampgames.com/blog/category/dungeons-of-dredmor/ <==Yes.

Oh. Hello there.

I didn't know you'd left, Summer. And so soon? You didn't tell me. And now Autumn has come rigt in and kicked my fucking throat. ALL OF MY HATE. Still, having Dungeons of Dredmor on the go now [thanks to the netbook. And FUCK YOU PADDY SQUARE BRACKETS 4 LYF] makes things far more bearable.

[/random]

That feeling when...

A new computer! Well, I say new, but it's just the titchy Italian one that can and should turn into my travelling laptop. It even runs Dwarf Fortress! Albeit slowly. But anyway, the point of this. I was soundly and utterly beaten today. All my trolling efforts, all my attempts at avoiding the ultimate revenge on my twat-ness, all beaten.

Starting up this tiny ferrari, I saw nothing wrong. It was only after I got settled in to load up chrome that these weird things started appearing.

These...weird...animals...

What is thi-

*tick* *tock* *tick* *tock* *tick* *tock* *tick* *tock* *ding!*

Ponies. Everywhere. 15 programs of them. And...not angry at all. It was well setup, and my rage was easily subsided. Almost sated. Obviously they are gone, but it was a nice attack. Having 98% CPU usage wasn't sustainable though.

A sign of scheduling success - blogging weekly.

From this week, the aim is to write about something, *something* every weekend. This way, I can plan and plot and gives me a little extra structure to add to my life. The last time I did something like this I'd talk about books or games I'd been playing, something I can try to do. But for games I'm taken up by Patrick and How To Play - an excellent gaming review site you should invest time in. So, books!

Before I get down to adding some kind of mini-info box warning about NSFW language and content, I really should write something. So, without further ado, some vague content.

EDIT: This spoiler tag sucks. It was removed.

Wanted - a look back.

http://www.ukgameshows.com/ukgs/Wanted

That, that is the greatest TV Gameshow I ever saw as a child. And it's something that should become an assassins game. This is what this post is all about. Oh don't worry, the thalidomide fanfic is being planned. I'm thinking writing on the weekends. Until then, I've decided to put up a vague sense of game in this. [By assassins, I mean the Sheffield Guild of Assassins, a university society. No murder. Only fake Nerf Gun and paper stabs.]

• Tournament style. 8 teams of 2 people
  
• Must be done over a week of no lectures, or needs to be adapted for uni time. OR, can happen over weekends as a long term game. Will assume weekend.
• Post-7pm, Targets must remain indoors, either at own home or at a helpers.
• 2 v 2 match, rest of the assassins recruited as helpers
• Hunted must complete challenges [Drop off locations], min 1, 3 given. Extra points given.
• Each death = 3 points to team that gets it. Respawn after 1h. If both die within 5m, then 1h30 given for team to hide somewhere new. Wipeout'd team loses 1 point.
• Most points win [Duh] - random rolling to decide whether Hunters or Hunted
• Hunters cannot ask direct questions to helpers "Is he at your place?" etc.
• Hunted cannot stay at the same spot for longer than 1h30
• Helpers can hoax/be bribed with points in future matches [max 2], favours or "cash" [fake.]
• Both teams given £10000 monopoly money to use with helpers. Can also use to hire guns from Assassins Store [Also deposit required]
• Area around Sheffield, usual assassins rules apply RE: no obvious weapons in public [or pubic, lol] areas, campus.
• Stalking and gaining pictures also rewarded based on style of picture. 1/4 - one person. 1/2 - both people. 1 for multiple pics of both people completing a task/trying to hunt.
• Hunted get no clue as to who are hunting them except for team name, Hunters gain face and assassins name/allergies. Address?
• NEEDED: Ideas on safety/not getting kicked out of uni

I'll add more in time, this seems imbalanced somehow, I know. But anyway, hopefully this is a decent concept. Also allows for a long-term game and keeps the guild active.

Dungeons of Dredmor

With 36 hours logged, it's safe to say I'm addicted to it. I would just like to rage at this fucker.

This giant masked bag of vagina-licking hell hates me. Truly he does. And he can [and does] burn in the lowest depths of hell every time I see him.

PS:

[20:09:23] [Hayley]Sadopterouroprometheophilia. In other words, a fetish for being brutally raped and pissed on by a feather-cocked god for all eternity p_o

I thank you, ma'am, for this amazing fetish. Doctor/Negi/Bugs will enjoy this. Well, I say enjoy...

A purpose to this sorry tale of random.

In part inspired by a friend, and in part as a way to let loose some creative writing, the aim of this blog is to write and be damned. About anything that pops into my head, or try and complete any self-made writing challenges given to me by myself or inadvertently by a friend. The first of which is a fanfic involving Doctor Who, Bugs Bunny, and Negi Springfield [the male protagonist from the Japanese Manga "Mahou Sensei Negima"] involved in copious amounts of buttsex. That is, in the butt. What what. [Sorry]

The main challenge is to actually make a story out of this that isn't utter rubbish like...well, like anything covered by this guy. I do still want to keep my grammatical sense of dignity. If it helps, the focus of this tale of horrid fanfic-related anal play will be Bugs Bunny. Just because I *can*. And because it's far funnier to write this through the eyes of Bugs Bunny. A lovable and mischievous rabbit who, while being chased by that "wascally wascal" Elmer Fudd, stumbles into a rift through space time. It'll be the current Doctor [Matt Smith] and a Negi that *is* legal. For you see, Negi is technically 10 years old. And I don't ever want to write any form of paedophilia. So - to get around this, I'm taking Negi transformed into a 16 year old [LEGAL!] and in the midst of a hilarious prank where he's turned into a woman as well. Yeah. As for how he gets through this hilarious time shift too? Put it into the Festival Arc. He *is* mature enough, and this is Japan. As long as the body is 16, right...? Oh fuck, I'm going to burn for this, aren't I?

Anyway. This is part of the blog's purpose. Sit with me and let us watch the death of morality.

What's rather strange...

..is an obsession I have with not backing down. Don't get me wrong, this isn't about fights, or standing up to the man. No, my beef is with youtube. That son of a bitch keeps throwing "10 minute"/"1 hour"/"repeating" videos, that if linked to I *MUST* watch. Because fuck you, those videos need to be sedated, watched and pushed down to the gutters where it belongs. And now? Now the shits have fought back. With TEN HOUR videos.

Seriously?

Fine then. I hope you're happy right now, Mr Smug Video Assface, because in ten hour bursts I will be visually punching you in the face.

This is who I am. Sorry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VznlDlNPw4Q